EAST LANSING, Mich. — It’s been said that having a new baby is like a piece of heaven on Earth…Until it’s not.
Ask any parent, and they'll tell you that the path to parenthood is neither always fun nor easy. New moms, like Natosha Bylsma know firsthand the rollercoaster ride of parenthood.
“Babies run the show you don't have a plan for anything," says Natosha. "You can try, but they don't care!”
Like many moms, Natosha says she had extreme challenges being a parent, especially after her first son was born.
“I really struggled that first year with postpartum depression and anxiety. And not that I didn't have good providers, but my providers didn't know what to do with me. And so, I ended up actually being involuntarily committed. And basically, they were just like, you just need a break. And when you have the baby and you're breastfeeding parent, there is no time for a break and so then to be separated from your baby and to be a breastfeeding parent… It was really, really stressful.”
Fortunately, Natosha discovered the Capital Area Perinatal Coalition and its beacon of hope, Kersten Kimberly, who runs a free monthly support group.
“We talk about everything. We talk about the truth, we talk about the hard stuff, we talk about the things that having babies really brings up, things that maybe you were afraid to say in other places or you feel like you shouldn't say if you've had a baby," says Kersten. "We talk about mood because I am a licensed mental health practitioner. So, we talk about anxiety, depression, any of those types of things; hormonal stuff, all the other good stuff that can come up with having babies and what that's like and adjusting to parenthood.”
Rachel Shillair, who attended the free support group while pregnant, says she found it immensely helpful.
“Listening to everybody, it was very comforting for me. It helped to normalize a lot of the feelings I was having and helped me to, you know, feel validated in these feelings that I was having. Because I had never heard that you could suffer from anxiety and depression when you are pregnant.”
Kersten reminds everyone that having a baby is a large adjustment.
"It happens in the blink of an eye you go in and you come out with a baby. So now what do you do and what do you do when you're not sleeping? And what do you do when someone's needs rely entirely on you, and what do you do if you don't have a partner or if you have a less than supportive partner, or in laws are not who you want them to be in that moment, or you need time for yourself?”
Kersten says she wants parents to know three vital things: It’s not your fault, you aren’t to blame, and help is available.
Abby Sumbler attended the support group and says it was extremely beneficial.
“They are good neighbors because I think they all recognize not only the good but also the tough, and that it’s all okay. And really in a judgment free zone to have people to say, yep, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes this part of life is just is hard. But we're all there together and with the people that have come before they made it through, you can make it through kind of we all lift each other up.”
For more information about the Capital Area Perinatal Coalition Support Group visit their website at https://www.capitalareapmad.org/
This week, we honor the Capital Area Perinatal Coalition Support Group as our Good Neighbors, offering a lifeline of support to parents navigating the challenging world of parenthood.
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